Tips for Parents

Why boys are underrepresented in gifted classrooms

Gender Gap for the Gifted in City Schools I'm always disheartened to hear how gender gaps persist in schools, despite on-going research. It turns out that today's classrooms may favor girls because the emphasis is on literacy and testing - things girls tend to excell at, rather than on math and spatial relationships - those things that boys typically do better with.

Summer: Time for new experiences

by Allison Matlack/DAILY NEWS CORRESPONDENT Summer opportunities abound for high school students and this can be the perfect time to take classes, explore career interests, hone athletic skills or become involved in volunteer work.

As with all extracurricular activities, how a student chooses to spend their vacation time reveals a great deal about their passions, talents and leadership skills. Students should carefully choose what it is that they want to do with an eye not toward "resume building" but to finding fulfilling experiences that will nurture their passions and allow them to pursue their interests.

For those academics who would like to move ahead in their coursework or to take a class that isn't offered at their high school, many independent schools and colleges offer summer sessions. Through these programs, students can take classes in subjects ranging from calculus to archeology to glass blowing. Independent schools, vocational schools and colleges offer courses for high school students ranging from single course options to full residential programs.

For those students who are more career-focused, the 10 weeks of summer provide a unique opportunity to explore interests through internships. Besides lending credibility to a resume, a summer internship is the best way to learn more about a specific career.

For those with a more entrepreneurial spirit, the summer months allow time to run a small business mowing grass, selling handmade T-shirts or running a dog-walking business. The organizational, leadership and executive skills that are required to run a successful business are especially alluring to colleges as well as to future employers.

Volunteering is another way to explore career interests and develop skills while helping others. For students who want to combine work with travel there are several groups that organize volunteer opportunities overseas. Rather than giving an hour or so of time each week over the course of the year, a focused volunteer effort in the summer can lead to a more meaningful and rewarding experience.

Many students enroll in programs overseas where they do any combination of study, travel, language immersion and/or volunteer work. For many, this is their first time traveling without their family and the rewards of overcoming the challenges of learning how to adapt to and appreciate the traditions and routines of another culture are profound.

For the athlete, sports camps are offered at many independent schools and universities and provide a tremendous opportunity not only to train with some of the best coaches in the country but also to take advantage of state-of-the-art athletic facilities. If you plan to be a college athlete, attend camps where the coaches from the colleges you are interested in applying to will be in attendance.

While summer provides myriad opportunities to explore one's interests and passions, it is important to plan ahead as many of these camps and programs will enroll quickly.

And be sure to leave plenty of time for recreation and renewal!

To learn more about this topic, AHP Educational Consulting is offering a free seminar - "Summer Opportunities for High School Students" - on Wednesday, June 9, from 3 to 4:30 p.m. at their offices at 490B Boston Post Road, Sudbury. To reserve a spot, call 978-261-1443.

Tim Lee and Allison Matlack are educational consultants at AHP Educational Consulting on Rte. 20 in Sudbury. For over 30 years, AHP has guided students through the college search and application process. For more information, call 978-443-0055 or visit www.ahpeducationalconsulting.com.

Copyright 2010 The MetroWest Daily News. Some rights reserved

The Upside of Rejection

I truly don't know what to say to my clients when they receive the dreaded letter telling them they've been denied admission to their first choice college. I know I could say that some wonderful schools have admitted them, that thousands of other students are sharing their pain, that years from now their misery will be a distant memory, or that they will come through this experience and be all the stronger for it. But, while all these things are true, I can hear my words ringing hollow in their ears - these are not the words they want to hear. It is anticipated that next year's freshman class will hit a record breaking 2.9 million students and colleges have received more applications than ever before. Harvard accepted a mere 6.9% of its undergraduate applications and Stanford's accepted only 7.2%. The University of Chicago saw a 42% increase in applications this year and accepted only 18% of those, down dramatically from the 27% of the applicant pool that received acceptance letters just last year. So, those finding themselves holding the "thin envelope" are in good company.

Few students seriously consider what they will do if they aren't accepted at their first choice school. While they will talk about the merits of their Plan B colleges, it is rarely with the passion or intensity with which they describe their dream school. So, after months of working hard to put together an application packet that seemed like the ticket to admission, it's hard not to ruminate on what could have been done differently or better. But a more productive response is to seize this opportunity to reconsider your options.

First choice schools aren't the only doorway to a bright future. Myriad opportunities await and chances are that you are holding acceptance letters from several wonderful colleges. Now that you must rethink where you want to go, give each of these schools the careful consideration they deserve. Don’t give undue weight to the school’s name or reputation – focus instead on defining your own educational values, priorities, and ideals to determine which school is the best match for you.

Don’t let this experience change your assessment of yourself. Those schools that accepted you value and recognize the ways that you will contribute to their communities. Colleges provide far more opportunities for internships, travel, research, athletics, social and extracurricular activities than any one student could ever exhaust. More important than the school you go to is what you make of your experience while you are there.

Where my words commonly fail, perhaps the oft quoted wisdom of Warren Buffet might bring some solace. Years after being rejected by Harvard Business School, Mr. Buffet reflected, "The truth is everything that has happened in my life... that I thought was a crushing event at the time, has turned out for the better."

So, congratulate yourself for getting a rejection letter. That means that you stuck your neck out, took a risk, and tested your upper limits. And some college is eagerly awaiting your arrival.

Reprinted with permission from Metrowest Daily News.

Tending to the Final Details

For most seniors, college applications will be complete and in the mail by the end of this month and the long, sometimes arduous, hopefully rewarding process of applying will be finished. Almost. While the lion's share of the work is done, there are still some important details to attend to.

First and foremost, remember that you are not "in" college until you walk through the doors on the first day of school. To make sure that accepted students remain focused on their academics and keep working to their best abilities, college acceptances are made with a contingency - if the student's grades decline appreciably the school reserves the right to rescind their offer of admission.

Colleges also retain the right to rescind admissions offers to students who engage in serious misconduct, either in or out of school. So, while Senior Spring is certainly a hard-earned privilege and a special time for graduating students to savor their last few months of high school, students need to continue to be on their best behavior.

For those seniors who have been placed on wait-lists at their first choice school, this is not a time to be passive and take the "wait and see" approach. Wait-listed students need to be strong advocates for themselves. It is important to be in contact with the admissions office to let them know that their school remains your first pick. Begin by writing a letter explaining why this college is the best match for you. You may want to follow up by making a call to the admissions office to verbally state your case. Guidance counselors can also be solicited for help to make a phone call or write a letter on your behalf.

Finally, you should also send news of any positive changes in your status. If you were just elected captain of the volleyball team, made district chorus or landed an amazing internship, let the admissions office know! The fact that you are still taking on challenges and enjoying new successes will speak strongly of your work ethic.

If you have been accepted early and know what school you want to attend, it is ethically appropriate to call all the other schools to which you have applied to withdraw your application, even if they haven't given you an answer yet. The sooner you let them know of your change in status, the sooner they will be able to give that acceptance to another student.

Finally, there are some administrative details that must be attended to. Be sure that your guidance office has the forms they need to send off your mid-year reports to colleges. For those applying for financial aid, it's time to file taxes and complete FAFSA forms. Be sure that you know your college's financial aid deadlines, and don't miss them.

Congratulations, seniors on the completion of your college process. But remember, there are a few details left to attend to - besides waiting for the mail to arrive!

Holiday Advice to Parents of Students Applying to College

The post to the US News and World Report blog this morning Parents Read This is a must read for parents of seniors applying to college. Lynn Jacobs and Jeremy Hyman provide 8 guiding principles that are practical and essential. The college application process is already fraught with enough stress and anxiety and the holidays can add an extra layer to that. Oftentimes parents who truly want to helpful can unwittingly add to the anxiety of their child. Reading these principles and following their wise advice can reduce some of the stress. Parents should remember that this is their child's process and being supportive means giving over some of the control of the process. Parents can help with being mindful of the deadlines and the requirements, but must be careful not to become so involved that the child doesn't feel ownership. Parents who follow these guiding principles will be glad they did and as a result will have a much happier holiday season.

No One Said Applying to College Was Easy

Time and time again parents sit in our office and reflect, "I don't remember it being like this when I applied to college." Indeed, the process has changed in some important ways. More colleges are making standardized testing optional, schools are becoming increasingly competitive, students are sending out more applications and parents are more involved in the process than ever before. For parents of rising seniors, we offer these words of advice:

1. Help your child remember that college is first and foremost about the academic experience. Colleges are offering some very enticing options including gourmet food service, dorm suites with full kitchens, athletic centers with state-of-the-art equipment, and cyber cafes at every turn. All this is very appealing, but students can lose focus on what should be at the center of their college experience - the academic program. Enjoy all the amenities colleges have to offer, but help your child assess the breadth and depth of courses offered and the level of academic rigor. While these intangibles can be hard to evaluate, it is important to help your child keep the "rightness" of the academic fit at the center of the decision making process.

2. If your child has been a procrastinator for 17 years, going through the college process isn't going to draw out Type A qualities. Know your child's strengths and weaknesses, and proceed accordingly. If he is disorganized, set up organizational systems. If he needs to read about colleges to really understand them, buy him guide books. Tech-savvy kids can gather a lot of information from YouTube videos, pod casts and school Web sites. Learning and behavioral styles are hard to change, so work with what you've got.

3. Remember, this is not your turn to apply to college. While your college years may have been the best of your life, that doesn't mean that your alma mater is perfect for your child. Let your child decide what is the best place for her to spend her undergraduate years.

4. It's hard to be objective and supportive at the same time. If you start more sentences with "Tell me more about what you think about..." and fewer with " I think...," you're well on your way.

5. Applying to college is probably the longest, most involved and most difficult decision your child has ever had to make. Give him plenty of time and space to process all the information and don't undervalue the emotional component. This is an important practice for making the even bigger decisions which lie ahead.

6. View the process of applying to college as just that - a process. It has a beginning, a middle and an end and each child will go through the process in her own way, in her own time, hopefully taking on increasing responsibility and ownership. Ultimately, this is not just about "getting in" but about developing self-awareness, clarifying values and becoming self-sufficient and self-directed. When parents become too involved, the student is denied the chance to go through this very maturing, self-actualizing process.

7. Front row seats don't always provide the best view. Sometimes the best place to watch this process is from a healthy distance. Don't be afraid to step back.

Reprinted with permission from Metrowest Daily News.